Renaming Victoria Terminus to Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus is a Clear Message to…….

(Special post – PARODY)

It is well established that renaming streets and places erases or expunges history. See here, here, here, here, here and here for think-pieces from intellectuals and experts in these matters that validate this claim.

Renaming Victoria Terminus to Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus therefore erases Queen Victoria, and by extension the British Empire, from history. We cannot have that for several very good reasons.

People who take satisfaction in this renaming, i.e. Hindutvavadi nationalists, should pause to consider the following before the Queen and the Empire are permanently erased from history:

  1. Queen Victoria is Not Amused

Wherever the good queen is now, we can authoritatively state that she is not amused by these shenanigans to wipe her existence off the face of the earth.

  1. The British Taught Indians English

Without English, would India be an economic powerhouse like China? Who would Narendra Modi meet in Silicon Valley?

  1. The British Gave India the Railway System

Granted, the railway system helped the British administer the economic and political exploitation of India, but it was NOT religious, so it was all right.

  1. What did Shivaji have to do with the Railways?

Shivaji did have, or must have had, Christian generals in his army. We are sure that meritorious Indian historians who have been working hardly for the last sixty odd years will be able to dig up some names. If they cannot, that’s no cause to worry. We have a resident historian on our staff who can trawl the interwebs and find the necessary evidence. What has this got to do with the renaming, you ask? Well, until we find the answer to that, remember that this establishes that Shivaji was not a Hindu, but a secular liberal, left of center.

  1. The British Gave India the Roman Script

For the minuscule fraction of Indians who know English but can only speak Hindi, this is a godsend – they can now write in Hindi using the Roman script! For the hundreds of millions who don’t know English or the Roman script, well they will just have to learn it, won’t they?

  1. Most Importantly, the British Gave India its National Identity: India

The Geeta in the Maha’bharata’ has this verse ‘Yada yada hi dharmasya’ that refers to some nebulous entity ‘Bharat’ but these are all myths and mythologies, so they do not count. So, in conclusion, without the British conferring nationhood on India, where would the Hindutvavdi “nationalists” be, hain? hain??

The renaming, therefore, is a clear message to ….. we are still trying to figure that out. In the meanwhile, give us more of your arguments, against the renaming, in the comments below.

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